Whew! Is this week over yet?
This was just one of those weeks where I just could not get it together. I did "stuff" and I suppose on some level I was productive, but as far as writing--this week sucked. I think I wrote a total of three pages in four days! Not exactly the way to meet a deadline.
As I go along in this process, I keep learning new things. I suppose this week's lesson would be to remember why I write. I was cruising along feeling somewhat confident in my abilities until...BAM! I slammed right into a review that knocked me off kilter. Not just because it was negative, but because it had me wondering what more I need to do to please people who read my books...and then it occurred to me...there's not a thing I can do. It was time to put on my big girl panties and just continue to do what I do.
It is so easy to get caught up in negativity and to berate yourself, when you are already feeling a little stressed, so I decided enough. I did this quick exercise. I went back through all the wonderful letters I've received from book one all the way to book six and I just speed read through a few until I felt a sense of calm. What I realized is that it's foolish to think you are going to please everyone. I know that's a crazy belief, so I had to release it all...my funky mood is over.
I can't possibly write to satisfy 300 billion people, so why am I fretting over a few folks who are not buying my books anyway? I have a great, loyal, solid fan base and I appreciate each and every one of you. The support, the letters, the invitations to speak at your events mean more to me than anything.
I've come to the conclusion that I can't consider myself a new writer... I don't get to crawl into a hole every time I read something that is bruising to my ego or hurts my feelings. As someone who has been out there in the published world for three years, it's time to grow up.
People will be unkind, people will be critical, small minded, disapproving, insensitive, and in some cases cruel...but...so what!
I've been all those things in my life too. As I've matured, I certainly would like to think that I am a better person now, but life is about challenge, growth, and just doing the best you can at any given moment. For all the times that I've fallen short, my sincere hope is that in the future I do better.
I look at how demanding I am with my children. Part of the reason I am is because I know they can do better a lot of times. I compare my comments to them to the comments made about me. So as a writer, I suppose some readers are looking for that improvement in my work.
I don't think I am the same person emotionally as when I wrote Love Worth Fighting For five additional books down the line. I'm still confused about where to put the darned commas, but I hope I've given readers characters that are three-dimensional that you can root for, situations that are funny, or exciting, or dangerous, and used words that are thought-provoking. My goal in 1997 when I first started to write is the same now in 2007--to entertain from the moment in time that you first pick up my book until you get to the last word. Simple. I'm not here to save the world, but just to give ya a little spice, a little drama, and a little excitement in your day.
To that end, I'm going to keep writing my stories the way they come to my mind and will keep attending book club meetings, will keep participating in events, and will keep appreciating those who appreciate what I have to offer.
Tomorrow, I am going to write until I finish at least half a chapter, because I'm now determined to get back on schedule.
Funky mood over...I guess I am there:-)
